A WOMAN OF VIRTUE.........***ARTICLE***(2012)

Mrs. Eunice Okumaiyi Ajayi-Saiki will never be listed in anyone's 'Who is who' but really should be. She was a great woman, not because of tremendous accomplishment or glamorous lifestyle but because of her inner strength.She had the ability to love and to endure. The Igarra princess, had a heart of compassion for others. She was beautiful and kind hearted. She was a woman of substance, a lady by every good sense of the word and she was my mother, the woman who taught me everything I know.

My mother was born into the family of Okomayin Momodu Ajayi of Igarra in Akoko-Edo local government area of Edo State (former Bendel State). She was of a royal lineage; the youngest of two sisters and two brothers. She was a woman of nimble fingers who created some of the most exquisite needlework arts.She loved life and was notoriously private and protective of her family.

Although she did not have any former education, she understood the importance of education. She had friends in high places. It is true that when you never get to have something, you become obsessed with it. My mum was obsessed with education. She pushed my siblings and I to not only strive well at school but to be the best that we could possibly be....That was my mother. She was a wise woman who was also a "nurturer" and "a take care of" kind of person...Just ask my friends!!!

My mother was a successful business woman, and as a business woman, she was a "Goal-Getter". She sold high end fabrics. From 'laces' to 'aso-oke', 'damask' to 'organza' and from 'guinea brocade' to 'Hollandaise'...She was your girl!

She was elegant. She believed in elegance and social graces. As a little girl, I watched her pick the right fabrics and even helped in designing them for special occasions. Her clients were people from all works of life and they believed in her expertise. Whether it's a wedding, a graduation, a baby's christening or a celebration of life, she knew the perfect outfit for the perfect occasion

My mother was a wonderful and loving wife to my father, a terrific mum to my siblings and I. She was the most fabulous grandma and the coolest auntie ever. To say that she was a sweet mother, will be an understatement...she was the proverbial woman of virtue. Her love was a sustaining force for our family. She was the heart of our hearts and the center of our world.

In December of 1985, my family experienced a devastation on a scale that was unimaginable. Five members of my family had been killed in fatal motor accident, 10 days before Christmas. Amongst them were my beautiful sister-in-law, sister Esther, my little nephew whom we all remembered as "Papa". There were two of my cousins, Ruth and Osieza as well as my brother-in-law. It was the worst Christmas ever for my family. Sister Esther left behind, a four year old son and a less than two{18-months) year old little girl; classic mum, stepped up to the plate and began the role of mum and grandma to her grand babies. My greatest joy today is seeing her integrity in these children who are now young adults. I can go on and on about the woman I called mum. She was our provider, our champion and our hero (shero, if you will). My siblings and I grew up never doubting that we were loved and cherished and have a place in this world...Thanks mum!!!

I remember the day it became obvious that something was wrong. It was December 31st,1987. I was getting ready for our annual 'New years eve' house party at my uncle's house. She called me into the room and said, "you cannot go to the party tonight" "Why" I asked. "I am very sick and I am heading to the University of Benin Teaching Hospital (UBTH) in Benin city, first thing in the morning" she replied. Mum had never spoken like this before. I knew she wasn't feeling very well but I did not realize the seriousness of her illness. Even on her worst days when she's tired or sick, she always has a way of playing it out like it's nothing, but this time it was different."There are hospitals and private clinics here in Igarra. You have Dr. Kingsley, why the teaching hospital? I demanded. "Dr. Kingsley has referred me to UTH she said.
At this point, I became apprehensive, and as I sat on the edge of her bed, I asked, "you are going to be okay, right?" "Oh, yes, iIll be okay" she replied, not wanting to alarm me.

Mum had gastrointestinal disturbances. It was so bad that she could not hold any food in. It had gotten cancerous and was spreading like wild fire. I watched her put up a fight. She fought with tremendous amount of courage and grace. She wanted things to go back to normal for dad, my siblings and I. But tragically we lost her on the 13th of March, 1988.
Death is so inevitable, it's a price we must pay. As I imagine it, it's actually a relief. We all know what  disease my mother died from,  none of us know what we are going to die from, but we are all going to die someday, as no one ever gets out of here alive.

As I look back today at the many years gone by, I am reminded that she fought a good fight and I am thankful that I was 18 years and not two or four years of age when I lost her. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder, what life would have be like if she was here. But as a deeply religious person, I believe that spiritually, we are united across the cosmos of death. There has been many times when I have felt my mother and my dad (dad died in September, 2005) very strongly, so it's safe to say that I feel their presence more than I feel their absence.

Today, I celebrate a beautiful human-being with a gallant spirit; a selfless woman with God's unconditional love in her heart. In her beautiful and humane heart, she wanted nothing more than to be a blessing and to make life comfortable for everyone around her. I celebrate my eternally great mother, a remarkable woman and a force of nature. I celebrate her resilience, her tenacity and her unapologetic boldness. Though the music stopped playing a long time ago, the lyrics are alive and the beat goes on. Thank you mother, for all that you taught me. Thanks for the lasting legacy that has outlived you. If I know you as much as I think I do, you want to know how we are all doing.....Well, we are fine. We are doing you proud, and we relish in the good times that we spent with you here on earth. As good Christians, we look forward to reuniting with you on the judgement day. But until that happens, continue to rest in the hands of the one who has held our broken hearts for over two decades. We loved you but God obviously loved you a whole lot more. If there is anything like re-incarnation, please be my mum again!!!

This article was first published in African Heritage Media Newspaper in 2012

Thank you for reading. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU ALL. GOD BLESS!!!